Things I never thought I would say before kids came along

Before actually becoming a parent there are somethings a person says they will never do (be warned, you usually end up doing those things anyways). Unfortunately there are only so many "why?" questions a mom can handle before the automatic response becomes "because I said so, that's why" (even though you swore that you would never say that because it annoyed you so much when your mom did it). Then there are just the things that you never even thought you would ever say. Today I am sharing a list of things I never thought I would ever say before having kids (and unfortunately I have had to say every one of these).

1. Don't lick that stick/rock/bug/slide/prettymuchanythingtheycangettheirtongueon. Seriously, this kid is almost 4 and still licks things! Just the other day I had to tell him to stop licking the car. 

2. Please stop scratching your butt in public. "But MOOMMM, it itches!"

3. You can't play with that while you are on the potty, do you want to get pee on your hand!?!? (His answer was "yes".)

4. No, you can't eat the bug... You can't put it in your water and drink it either!

5. Eat your pizza or no treat for you!

6. Get your head out of the toilet!! (But mommy, I was just washing my hair.)

7. We don't greet people in our underwear, or naked, please go put some clothes on.

8. No, this store does NOT sell boobs, they sell BRAS.

9. Can we PLEASE listen to something other than Kansas? (My child ruined it for me.)

10. Crap, I can't find High School Musical, make the crying the stop. (They will pick the one movie that you never had any intention to watch as the only movie that will make the crying stop.)

Things I said I would never do (before having kids):

1. Say "because I said so" in response to questions.

2.  Bribe my kids with treats (hahaha, little did I know).

3. Let my kids eat junk food (goldfish are a healthy snack right?).

4. Let my kids walk around looking crazy. (I learned it was so no worth the fight, they look crazy on a regular basis).

5. Let my kids watch too much TV (I'm sorry but sometimes Mommy needs her sanity).

What did you never think you would say, or say that you would never do?