DIY fabric softener

Ugh doll hair. It's always a mess!! My daughter always wants me to do her doll's (and pony's) hair. The problem is, to braid the hair, it has to be nice and untangled first. Therein lies the problem. My daughter can make a huge mess of their hair in less than a day (I'm not really sure how she does it, but she does).

The best way I have found to fix doll/pony hair is with fabric softener. Now, I don't usually buy fabric softener because I don't really use it much. Because of that, I tried other hair fixing tutorials I found on pinterest, but none seemed to work as well as the fabric softener did.

The other day I made my own laundry soap, so I figured there had to be a way to make my own fabric softener, and apparently there is. If you want to make a large batch (I did not since I don't use it on clothes and I was only making it for fixing doll hair), you need 6 cups hot water, 2 cups vinegar, and 1 bottle of hair conditioner (doesn't matter the brand). I cut that in half since my sole purpose was detangling messes of doll hair. So the original recipe I found said to just use hot tap water and mix the conditioner in until dissolved, but that didn't work well at all. I ended up pouring the hot water and conditioner mix into a saucepan and heating it on medium for about 10-15 minutes to get it well mixed. Once the conditioner has dissolved into the water, add your vinegar, mix and you are ready to go (store in air tight container). 

This did not work perfectly, and not quite as well as when I used store bought fabric softener, but it worked better than all the other things I had tried. I also decided to try it in the laundry, since my laundry soap is unscented, and apparently my husband prefers scented. I used an herbal essence conditioner that I didn't really care for, it got the clothes soft, but didn't give the scent like I was expecting. Maybe it would be better with a different brand? May experiment more with it in the future and see if we can find a scent we like.

To use this to fix doll hair, comb doll hair out first, then soak in softener. Gently work out tangles, then rinse really well. This didn't make them perfect, but it did help a great deal.

You can see the after picture above. It takes time and patience to work them out, but it is possible.

Homemade laundry soap

Expenses like laundry soap, dish soap, and other cleaning supplies add up over time (since they are things we use every day) and often can cost a lot of money. I mean 1 thing of Tide Pods is almost $15 (not that I buy that). I got into the whole "pods" craze for awhile until I realized that the cost hike greatly outweighed any convenience that it held. We went back to buying regular old liquid laundry soap and dishwasher soap.

I always buy the stuff that is on sale or that I have a coupon for, but even still, I really like to save money. I decided to try my hand again at making laundry soap. I had tried once before and was not a fan. The soap I made was powdered and used essential oils and scented bar soap (Dr. Bronners lavender bars). I didn't like that it was powdered and the scent was so overwhelming that it made me nauseous (any strong scents make me sick like that, it was so overwhelming that even with the container closed walking in the kitchen gave me a headache, so I tossed it).

This time I went about without any essential oils and used unscented liquid Dr. Bronners Castile soap. This soap will be runny, and is unscented, so if you are looking for a scented soap I would suggest adding a few drops of essential oil, or getting a scented Castile soap (I prefer unscented so I quite like it). I made this yesterday and used it today for the first time. It got everything just as clean as store bought, and it didn't leave my clothes smelling too strong (something I often run into). I used a full cap, this doesn't make a ton of suds, but it does work.

I used my empty gallon jug from the previous laundry soap I bought, and I used to Dr. Bronner's unscented pure Castile soap. You could use a scented one, or add a few drops of essential oil if you want, or you could use dawn dish soap (which is what the original recipe calls for).

I really wanted to try the kind that used fels napthia or zote bars, but they don't carry those here and I didn't feel like paying way more for them on Amazon (the price is much higher than it would be off of a Wal-mart or a grocery store shelf). I still plan on trying one of those recipes at one point and seeing which one I prefer, but for now this seems to do just fine.

If you really want some clean power for stains all you need is a little dawn, some baking soda, and a scrubber brush. I got some boy clothes from a friend and one very nice shirt had some blue stains on it (sorry didn't take any pics). I put a few drops of dawn on each stain, sprinkled some baking soda over it, scrubbed it really well, then left it to sit for about 30-60 minutes to pretreat. The stains were gone when I took it out of the dryer. I'm sure you could make a large batch of this ahead of time to keep as stain remover (worked much better than my shout did).

How I improved my marriage

Marriage is hard, we all know that. I'm sure we were all told that at some point on our lives, most likely before we even got married. Marriage takes a lot of hard work and compromise (which sometimes is easier said than done). Adding kids into the mix only makes it that much harder, because you have less to time to spend alone together and less time to devote to your marriage. On average about 20-25% of marriage end in divorce (yes, it is much lower than people think, but it still kind of stinks). My husband and I said from the start that we wouldn't be part of that statistic.

That being said though, we still made many of the common mistakes in marriage (probably me more so than him). For the first 2-3 years (give or take) of our marriage I was awful. It might not have seemed like it to others, but I know how my husband felt, and looking back I know how awful I feel about it. I was naggy, moody, always fighting about stupid little things that in the end don't really matter. 

A few years ago, I realized how badly I was treating my husband, and decided it was time for me to make a change. Obviously, I still have areas that I need to work on, but I feel much better, and I'm fairly certain if you asked him, he would agree. So here is a list of many common mistakes people make in marriage. After I will make a list of how I worked on not making them.

I'm pretty much guilty of every single one of those. When I decided I needed to make a change, one of the biggest things for me, was nagging. I nagged constantly. Now, when I feel that nagging voice coming on, I take a few breaths and list the reasons I love him in my head. I am also very guilty of not communicating, and just expected him to know what I what or what I am thinking. He is not a mind reader. How does he know I want him to do the dishes while I am out if I don't tell him. How does he know I don't want to play another hour of his game if I don't tell him? We have gotten much better about this. I used to be really bad, I would snap on him when I was really upset about something else, but I just didn't ever tell him that I was upset (this was especially true when Bret was first getting tested for multiple possibly illnesses/diseases). Instead of talking to him about how anxious/worried I was, I would snap on him about something completely unrelated. 

I can also be the queen of "not really listening", I assume I know what he is going to say and cut him off. I think I can say with some certainty that he would say it's one of his biggest pet peeves. This is something I am still working at, apparently cutting him off just comes naturally to me, but I am trying. Always needing to be right is one I think both of us struggle with. I think this is where "let's just agree to disagree" instead of "I'm going to prove you wrong" comes into play. I have also been to know to complain about him to my friends, which I am also working on. Instead of telling them what he did wrong or what he did that upset me, I try to talk to him about it (which goes back to lack of communication). 

Another huge one for us losing the intimacy. After 2 babies 14 months apart, intimacy was really the last thing on mind. I was tired, I felt fat and was totally unhappy with myself. We have definitely comes leaps and bounds in this area. I make time for him, even if I am a bit tired. For me, this isn't just about sex, this is just about intimacy in general. We are all so busy, he works, I tried to keep the kids engaged, the house clean, and dinner cooked. Sometimes even just cuddling and enjoying alone time together can get pushed to the back burner. We try to spend time together everyday, whether that is in right in the morning when he gets  home from work, or cuddling on his nights off. I think this is major factor in the improvement of our relationship as a whole. 

We have been married for 6 years now, and I think this is probably the happiest either of us has ever been with our relationship in general. Obviously we had good times before, but I think talking about the relationship in general, it's better now than it ever has been. 

Meal Planning

I have never been one to plan meals ahead. My husband used to consider himself lucky if I even remembered to take meat out of the freezer that morning for dinner. When I was working I had tried meal planning, and it just didn't work out for us. Mainly, because my husband didn't care for that meal that particular night of the week. 

This time I decided to try it again, but basically I came up with 13 meals for the next 2 weeks (left one night for either leftovers or take out). If he doesn't feel like a certain meal one night, we have everything we need to make all 13. First I decided what meals I wanted to make for the next 2 weeks. I wanted to change things up, because I feel like we are always eating the same 5-6 meals over and over again. I made a long list of a variety of meals (after scouring Pinterest all day for different meal ideas). Then I choose 13 meals off that list for the next 2 weeks (the list has about 50 meals total). 

Next I went through the fridge, freezer, and pantry to see what we had on hand. Then I looked through each meals' ingredient list, and made a grocery list of everything we needed to make those meals. After making my list, I went through my coupons to see what items on my list I had coupons for (who doesn't like saving a buck or 2 on something they already intend to buy).  

Next came the actual grocery shopping (if you can do this without kids, I highly suggest it). My kids were acting like I gave them crack before entering the grocery store (not really bad, just super hyper and crazy). We went through the store and got everything we needed for the meals I had planned (aside from 1 thing the store didn't have), and all of our basics that we needed. Luckily I got out of there in an hour and I saved $12 with my coupons. 

So here is our list of meals for the next 2 weeks to feed the 4 of us (I will add my grocery list at the end, note that my grocery list was not everything needed for the meals, as I had stuff on hand already). 

Super Hero Challenge

We woke up today to pouring rain. Ugh, yuck. I don't even want to leave the house when it's like that. Luckily, it has stopped raining (lucky since I need to run some errands this afternoon), but obviously it's still super wet out. You know what that means, no park today, which equals kids stuck inside with pent up energy.

After the 3 or 4 fight between the kids this morning, it was obvious that they needed a positive way to get all that energy out (usually they do that at the park). So I started thinking about what fun things they could do to be active and get their energy out, while still being apartment friendly. I didn't want it to be loud and annoying for the people that live under us (don't want them cursing me under their breath, like I do about the people above us). So armed with a cup coffee, pen, and a piece of paper, I decided to make a game called Super Hero Challenge (both of the kids are really into super heroes, so this was my way of making it super fun for them). 

Coming up with challenges that wouldn't be super annoying to my neighbors was the hard part (if you don't live in an apartment, that shouldn't be a problem, because you could really do anything). The main reason for doing this was getting the kids up and moving so that all their energy was going into that instead of fighting with each other, and also so that they will actually nap after lunch. 

The pictures aren't that great and sorry about that, I used my phone to snap all of them. I will also type out all of the challenges and explain how we did them. This was super easy, once I came with the ideas. It took me less than 5 minutes to set it up and be ready for them to do.

Super Hero Challenge

Challenge #1: Pick your super hero outfit. (If your kids don't have super hero dress up stuff, you can skip this. Or you can use every day stuff. Sophie is the only one that has a cape, so when Bret wants a cape he has me tie his blankie around his neck. You could also make felt or paper masks pretty quickly if they want masks.)

Challenge #2: STEALTH MODE: Get to another room as sneakily as possible. (If you have other people in the house or pets, you could have them try to sneak up and scare someone.)

Challenge #3: Go through the obstacle course as quickly as possible. (I just used pillows and other random stuff from our living room to create this. Ours is small because of lack of space, but you could always do this much bigger and better. Apartment living really stinks sometimes.)

Challenge #4: Make it through the course backwards.

Challenge #5: 5 push ups to be strong like Captain America.

Challenge #6: 5 sit ups to be tough like Batman.

Challenge #7: Stretches to be flexible like Elastigirl.

Challenge #8: Find the hidden bad guy. (I used one of their toys and hid it for them to find.)

Challenge #9: The "Hulk" challenge: Knock down all the boxes.

Challenge #10: Army crawl under the tables.

Challenge #11: Air punches/kicks.

Challenge #12: Crab crawl down the hall.

Challenge #13: 5 squats holding a ball.

Challenge #14: Hop on 1 food around the coffee table.

Congrats!! You made it!

Challenge #15: Choose your own Super Hero name!!

**Obviously you can change up your challenges, make them harder, or easier, add in other things. We would have running, jumping, and many other things if we didn't live in an apartment. 

While this is awesome for a rainy/snowy day activity, it would also be a great idea for a game for a super hero themed birthday party (keeping that in mind if Bret wants another super hero party). The kids thought it was so fun. They're favorite was the Hulk Challenge, we had to do that one a few extra times and they are already begging to do that one some more after nap time. They didn't quite understand the making up their own super hero name, but after a few suggestions from me they came up with their own: Super Sophie Girl and Captain Bretasaurus.
 

When they become their own people.

I had every intention of sharing a recipe today, but the day went a different way. Today as I watched the kids play and interact I was thinking about how much I love watching them grow into their own people (even at only 4 and 3) and noticing the ways in which they are similar and the ways in which they are different.

I remember when Bret was a baby, constantly comparing every mile stone to Sophie (even though they say not to, it's a bit hard), and sometimes wondering why he wasn't meeting them at that same age range as Sophie did. Now I embrace those differences though. Bret still meets milestones much later than his sister, but I know there is nothing wrong that, he just marches to the beat of his own drum and does things at his own pace.

I love both of the little people they have become (well, except for when Bret is yelling at me and Sophie is giving me sass). Sophie at 4 is the most inquisitive child I have ever met (the sheer number of questions this kid can ask is overwhelming), she is a social butterfly and wants to be friends with anyone and everyone. She really seems to have no fear, she just jumps right into everything, she is also very sensitive (which can also be overwhelming at times). She is stubborn (like a mule), and has a tendency to become the leader of the group, even if she is the youngest. She is girly and not girly all at the same time.

Bret on the other hand is quite shy, he doesn't jump into anything without holding mommy's hand. He can be very anti-social, he usually only plays with or talks to kids/adults he knows. He is not a leader at all, he is way more content to just play off by himself than to be in the group. He is all boy, loves to be noisy and dirty.  He gets frustrated easily and has many meltdowns when he can't get things right (also very overwhelming), but it also the sweetest boy ever. He has a short attention span and has problems sitting still (unless of course we are cuddling and he gets to play with my hair). He is just as stubborn as his sister (a trait they both got from me), and he can also be very inquisitive, just not as much so as his sister. He actually tends to be more nurturing than his sister, he likes to sing to babies, and he loved rocking his dolls and kissing them, and changing their diapers. 

Watching these 2 become the little people become the little people they are has been one of the greatest joys in my life, and I love that I still have so much more of that to come. I am so thankful for these 2 goof balls and love that one day I will get to see the adults they become.

Best Chili

When you have a really busy hectic day crock pot meals are the easiest choice to go with. For the most part you can just throw everything in the crock and put it on low, and you are good to go. For us, if I know I am going to busy around 5 (when I usually start cooking dinner), I just go ahead and toss stuff in the crock pot that morning so I don't need to worry about not having that 5-6 o'clock hour to be in the kitchen.

Chili is one of our favorites. The recipe I use has been adapted over time to the one I am about to share with you, and we all LOVE it (aside from Bret not wanting to eat the beans). It's one I always know everyone will be glad to eat.

What you need: 
1 lb ground beef (you could also use turkey)
2 cans kidney beans (either dark red or light red or both)
1 can corn
2 cans green chilies (I used canned because fresh is outrageous expensive here)
2 cans diced tomatoes
1 can tomato sauce
Chili seasoning (I use half a pack of hot and half a pack of mild)

For us, we almost always have things on hand. Sometimes I have 2 cans of dark red kidney beans, sometimes I don't, I just throw whatever we do have in it. That it what I love about this recipe, it's fairly adaptable. Sometimes I have plain diced tomatoes, sometimes I have seasoned, it doesn't really matter. Sometimes I don't have corn, and I just leave that out (but I do feel like it adds to the flavor, it's not a necessity). One day I just decided to toss in some green chilies, and I now I never make it without them because it made it much better.

Start by browning your meat and draining it. Place it in the crock pot. Drain tomatoes and corn and toss it in crock pot. I like to drain and rinse the beans, then they get tossed right in there too. I don't drain the green chilies, I just toss them in. Pour in tomato sauce. Sprinkle half a pack of hot chili seasoning and half a pack of mild seasoning in and stir (you could also just make your own chili seasoning, but I am lazy and we really like the mix of hot and mild). 

Cook on low 4-6 hours. That easy. We always add cheese and sour cream on top, and sometimes crush up some Fritos.

Enjoy!!

Easy peasy homemade bubbles

 Bubbles!!!!!

Do your kids love bubbles? Most kids LOVE bubbles. There is just something about bubbles that makes kids go crazy (bubbles are like kid crack). I get it, the float, you can pop them, they can be funny. My kids are OBSESSED with bubbles. Problem is, they are not really that cheap, unless you get the cheapo tiny bubble container that lasts about 0.2 seconds. Yesterday I paid almost $2 each for a skinny bubble thing that had maybe 1 cup of bubbles in it (I really only grabbed those ones because they had the long bubble wands, and those are easy for Bret. 

You don't even really need to blow the bubbles, you can just move the wand and there are the bubbles, but $2 for the tiny amount of bubbles in that thing is just sad. Especially when Bret is an expert at accidentally (and sometimes purposefully) dumping bubbles out. I had seen bubble recipes on Pinterest before and usually thought "yeah, I highly doubt those actually work", or they called for things like glycerin (sorry but that's not something I EVER buy, and I don't plan on starting now). One of the moms at the park yesterday told me she uses dawn and it works really well, so I thought ok, let's go find a bubble an easy bubble recipe that uses dawn (I knew I had to add water, but didn't know about the ratio). I looked online and found a super easy one, using stuff everyone has on hand (no glycerin needed). 

All you need is warm water, sugar, and dawn dish soap (I used dawn and palmolive because I ran out of dawn). The recipe is easy, 4 cups warm water, 1/2 cup sugar, and 1/2 of the soap. Stir the sugar into the warm water until completely dissolved, then add soap and mix again. I made 1 batch of it to test it out.

Once I found that it actually worked as well as the junk you buy in the store, I made a double batch. Unfortunately the kids haven't gotten a chance to use it yet because it was rainy and gross today. I can tell you I won't ever be buying bubbles again. Just remember these need to be store in an air-tight container. I also read that you can omit the sugar, but I'm not sure how well that does, since I used sugar in both batches.
*The picture of the bubble at the top is from this homemade recipe. I didn't blow a bunch because I didn't want to clean soap off of the floor.

Activities for high energy kids

Every morning my kids beg to go to the park (usually when I am in the middle of cleaning something, like a bathroom). Then, when we finally get to the park, they don't want to play (really kids?). This usually happens when they aren't other kids at the park to play with (and unfortunately I can't control when other kids are at the park, we pretty much have a set park time). Sophie just wants to sit on the bench and talk my ear off (which she also does all day at home), and Bret just wants to sit in the dirt and get ridiculously dirty. 

By the time we leave the park they are usually WAY too dirty, and haven't used up near enough energy, which causes problems for me. Our routine is park for an hour-hour and a halfish, then lunch and naps. When they don't use up enough energy nap time is nightmare, I usually use nap time to finish up cleaning, get some "me" time, or catch up on sleep. That is usually the first chance I get to shower as well, so them being difficult about it is just a pain in the rear end. 

Today we did something a little differently. When we got to the park and both kids refused to actually play (Bret went right to the dirt and Sophie just sat down and said she wanted to "take a break" even though she hadn't done anything), I decided to make a little "game" out of being active. We have done this on one other occasion and I don't know why I haven't done it more. The kids love when we make "games" out of things. 

The game usually starts by me saying "show me how fast you can run", then the kids both run all the way across the playground and back. When they get back they automatically ask "what's next!?!?" We did this back and forth for an hour today and they definitely spent a ton of energy. They were both exhausted walking home and during lunch, and the best part...no fight over taking naps. Here is an idea of the activities that we did:

This is also something you could do at home on a rainy to have them burn off some energy (some are not apartment friendly, but things like dancing, be a bird, flap your arms, arm circles, and such are good anywhere). I like to add in things like 3 times, 4 times, and so on so that they have to count them out. Bret is a very high energy kid and if he doesn't burn enough energy he is awful, I recently read an article about how physical activity is great for treating ADHD and how getting physical activity throughout the day really helps kids focus. While Bret is a little too young for a diagnosis, I really won't be surprised when one day a teacher or doctor tells me he has it (we have a family history and he really does show some signs). 
Here is a link to the article: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/09/exercise-seems-to-be-beneficial-to-children/380844/. It's really good information whether your child has ADHD or not. I am so happy one of my FB friends shared it on her timeline, or I never would have seen it. Being physically active and exercising really does seem to help Bret, not only with focusing, but with his behavior in general. He starts to act out and throw tantrums when he isn't getting enough of it.

Cleaning stove fans/vents

Have you ever cleaned that fan/vent above your stove? No? Not in a long time? I bet it's fairly greasy. They are the WORST to clean, thick nasty stuck on grease that doesn't want to come for anything, combined with dust. Um, yeah no thanks. We try to clean ours at least 2 times a year, and even so it gets REALLY bad. There is some hope though, I have found a way to effectively clean all the components of it and it takes much less effort than anything else I have tried (and most of those didn't work at cleaning it).

It involves baking soda and vinegar. YAY!!! 2 super effective cleaning items that are both fairly cheap. It does take a lot of both to get every part of ours clean, but a large jug of cleaning strength vinegar is only about $1.50 here at the commissary and baking soda is like .$.80 for a small box. Still cheaper than most cleaning solutions, even if you use a lot of it.

I start off by filling the sink about 1/4 of the way full with vinegar and then adding some super hot water (I use this to soak the really nasty pieces beforehand). Next I pour just a bit of vinegar in one of my glass measuring cups and grab an old toothbrush. Now it's time for the baking soda. On the pieces that aren't really bad, I just jump right in and sprinkle baking soda all over the surface. The baking soda is very important, since it does the scrubbing work for us (it also acts as a whitener). I am not very good at sprinkling, so it's more of dumped in clumps, but it still works.

Add just enough vinegar to make a paste and start scrubbing away. If it's not totally caked in thick greasy residue it shouldn't take much scrubbing at all for that come nice and clean. You will need to rinse your toothbrush with hot water often to make sure they thick greasy dust doesn't stick to it. Here is my toothbrush before a few scrubs:

And here it is after scrubbing for a minute or so:

Gross right? Can you tell that the baking soda is not white? Yeah, no one wants that above their stove. After scrubbing each piece make sure you rinse really well, as baking soda will leave a gritty residue if you don't. I rinse it and use a sponge to make sure I get all of the baking soda off, then set in the rack to dry. 

Before  scrubbing ^^. This one wasn't very caked on and really only took 1 quick minute scrub to get it nice and clean.

After ^. Nice and shiny again. This process can be time consuming with taking the whole thing apart, scrubbing it all, and letting it dry; but it is so worth it. It took me about an hour total to get everything nice and clean (the actual fan, which I forgot to take a picture of was the worst and it took a lot of scrubbing action). It may take longer if yours is worse off, but once you get it clean and keep doing it, it should get better (I really should do it every 3 months or so, but I always forget until I look up and see that nastiness, which is exactly what happened this morning). 

Just don't do what I did and not pay attention while taking it apart. I still haven't gotten it fully back together because I can't figure out how it goes. LOL, totally brain fart moment, and hopefully I will figure it out before midnight.