You are awesome!

    I just want to say to all the moms (and dads if you are reading this), that you are awesome. I feel like too often we moms judge each other, belittle each other, and feel the need to tell other moms what they are doing wrong. Not often enough do we stop and just say "you're awesome and you are doing good job". It's so easy to look at mom whose toddler is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store and think "Why doesn't she do something about it?", or "Why doesn't she just leave and come back later when he isn't throwing a fit?". I know because I have done it myself, but the fact of the matter is that we have no clue what is going on in that person's life. Maybe that toddler has autism and can't help it, maybe that mom just got news that a parent passed away, or maybe (if she is like me) her husband is deployed but they ran out of milk (or anything really) and she needs to get the grocery shopping done and doesn't really have other options. Maybe that person is having a terrible day, and a simple "it will get better" or "hang in there" would make it all that much better for them.
     Just because someone doesn't parent the exact same way as us doesn't mean they are wrong. Every toddler, every mom, every family is different. What works for our family might not work for another family. Sometimes being a parent is kind of a double-edged sword. One person might get on a mom for not breastfeeding, while another person might get on a mom for breastfeeding past a year. No one will ever be fully satisfied, but the main point is no but that person has the full story, and it's really not anyone's business. If the baby is healthy and well fed, the source of the nutrients isn't a big deal.      Parenting is hard, and confusing (especially for first time parents), we shouldn't make it any more difficult than it already is by always judging and belittling each other about parenting styles. I always felt bad that I couldn't breast feed Bret, especially with everyone shoving the "breast is best" line down my throat (yes, I do believe that, but that just made me feel that much worse about not being able to do it). I not only felt like it took away from the bonding process, but I felt like a failure, and other moms shoving that in my face just made me feel like a terrible mom. They didn't know that I tried, but that after latching and sucking for a minute or so, he would pull away and and scream like dying cat every single time I tried. They didn't know he wasn't gaining weight. They didn't know that after trying for weeks, and meeting with his doctor, and seeing that he still wasn't gaining weight, that both his doctor and I decided it was time to try formula. What I needed during that time was a hug, not a judgmental stare for giving my 1 month old a bottle of formula.
  I know it's so easy judge and sometimes we don't even notice we are doing it, but we should all try our hardest not to do so. Most days I feel like I am doing everything wrong and that I am terrible mother, especially when the kids can't go 2 minutes without fighting, I have 4 loads of laundry I never got around to putting away, and my dining room floor is covered in Cheerios (even though I just vacuumed the day before). What I need on those days is someone to say "Hey, you aren't perfect, but you are a good mom". I'm sure that most of us feel like that, maybe the things we have going on are different, but we all feel like we aren't enough, like we don't do enough.
  So next time you see a parent on the phone at the park, don't automatically go to "what a bad parent", maybe that was the only break from pretend play and toddler talk that parent got that day. Next time you are on a plane and hear a baby or toddler crying don't think "I wish she would figure out how to shut that kid up", think "poor kid he is afraid of flying" and "poor mom can't calm his fears because he is too young to understand". Next time you see a toddler having a full blown fit in public, give a reassuring smile, a hug, or just a "I hope your day gets better" (it can go a long way).
 So, I say again "To all you moms, you are awesome. Keep your head high (even if you are still in sweats, your hair isn't washed, and you floor is a disaster), and know that just because you aren't perfect doesn't mean you aren't a good mom."